Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize