you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
