ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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