hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
