My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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