Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
