Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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