Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
