did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
