so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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