I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just high enough for therapy.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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