Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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