If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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