my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
