On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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