What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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