If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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