My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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