She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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