At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
