People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
