Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize