I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize