So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
