i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize