id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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