dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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