from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
