Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
