We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
