Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
