I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
