yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
