Just mADE A PArabola og urine
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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