38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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