Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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