You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
