He is an equal opportunity slut.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
