I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
