Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
