Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
