I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There r osticjed everywhere
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
