we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I still have a little drunk in my system
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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