don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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