oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
