YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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