6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
