with your own penis?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
