That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize