3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
