I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
