Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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