Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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