I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize