I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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