Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
